They ‘steal’ our mental strength: 10 common mistakes in thinking
Mentally strong people can handle everything life brings them and deal with every situation. Everyone would like to be like that, but they don't notice the ways in which their own thinking sabotages them and unnecessarily takes away their strength.
Mental strength requires a three-pronged approach — managing our thoughts, regulating our emotions, and productive behavior despite our circumstances.
Although we may encounter problems in all three areas, often our thoughts are the main problem that steal our mental strength, writes Psychology Today.
1. ‘All or nothing’ thinking
Sometimes we see things as black or white. You may have two categories of co-workers in mind - good and bad. Or maybe you look at every project as a success or a failure. Recognize shades of gray, instead of setting things one-sided.
2. Excessive generalizations
It is easy to take one particular event and generalize it for the rest of your life. If you have failed in completing a project, you can conclude - 'I'm bad at it'. Or if one family member treats you badly, you may think, ‘Everyone in my family is rude’. Pay attention to cases where the incident may relate to only one specific situation, instead of all other areas of life.
3. Filter the positive
If nine good things happen and one bad thing happens, sometimes we filter the good and zoom in on the bad. We may declare that we had a bad day, despite the positive events that took place. Or maybe we look back on our performance and declare that it was awful because we made one mistake. Filtering out the positive can prevent you from establishing a realistic view of the situation. Develop a balanced outlook by noticing both the pros and cons of it all.
4. Self-pity
When some things fail you or don’t work, don’t be sad and feel sorry for yourself. Instead, find a solution to a problem and a healthy way to deal with defeat, such as talking to friends.
5. Mind reading
We can never be sure what someone else thinks. Yet everyone occasionally assumes they know what’s going on in someone else’s head. Thinking about things like ‘He must have thought I was stupid when I said that’ draws conclusions that are not necessarily based on reality. Remind yourself that you may not be making accurate guesses about other people’s perceptions.
6. Catastrophe
Sometimes we think things are a lot worse than they actually are. If you don’t meet your financial goals once within a month, you may think, ‘I will end up in bankruptcy’ or ‘I will never have enough money to retire’, although there is no evidence that the situation is so dire. It can easily turn into a catastrophic situation once your thoughts become negative. When you begin to predict fate and darkness, remind yourself that there are many other potential outcomes.
7. Labeling
Tagging involves adding a name to someone or something. Instead of thinking ‘he made a mistake’, you can label your neighbor an ‘idiot’. Labeling people and experiences places them in categories that are often based on isolated incidents.
8. Fate
While none of us know what will happen in the future, sometimes we like to predict. We think things like ‘If I go on a diet, I’ll probably just gain weight’. These kinds of thoughts can become a self-fulfilling prophecy if you are not careful.
9. Personalization
As much as we want to say that we don’t think the world revolves around us, it’s easy to personalize everything. If your partner doesn’t respond, you can assume, ‘She must be mad at me’. When clinging to personal situations, take the time to point out other possible factors that may affect the circumstances.
10. Unreal ideals
Establishing an unfair comparison about ourselves and other people can ruin our motivation. Watching someone who has achieved a lot of success is not helpful, especially if that someone has had a lot of happy circumstances along the way. Instead of measuring your life by someone else’s, it’s better to focus on achieving your own goals.
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